Miss Independent?

I have been staring at this computer screen for well over 5 minutes and cannot come up with anything worthy to even discuss.  So perhaps I will just describe my day and it will fall into place.

I awoke this morning a little later than I had anticipated so in turn my daughter was also asleep later than she should have been. We woke up and she decided to dress in the most ridiculous outfit ever.  We fought it out and I, of course, won and she put semi-human clothes on.  I shouldn't sweat the small stuff really and just let her dress like an absolute freak. Maybe it will keep the boys FAR away... and FOREVER!   Jenn came over and dropped Avery off so I could babysit, and she drove Lonnie to the bus stop for me. I snuggled up on the couch with the little bean and watched CSI:Miami reruns for a few hours until I got dressed and drove to Jenn's work so she could show Aves off. 

Jenn has been talking about this guy at her work and how I "have to meet him."  I have been down this road with way too many friends and these "have to meets" always wind up being disasters.  I was pleasantly surprised when this one was a lot better looking than I had presumed.  He introduced himself and shook my hand and that was literally the extent of our meeting. Did I mention he looks a ton like my ex-fiance?  Guess Jenn knows what I like, huh?  *sigh*  The dating scene. What an obnoxious place to be in!  I am single so naturally one would assume I am in that so-called scene, but the truth is I stay as far away from it as possible.  Dating & MaryAnne do not go together... at all.  Hell, I am not sure relationships & MaryAnne go together at all.  I am not exactly the person you can have on your arm, dote over, or be romantic to. I have been told for several years now that I am just like a guy -with the exception of the boobs and vagina. I think like a man, talk like a man, and date like a man.  Christ, half the men I date are freaking females or so it seems!  Pathetic.  I guess what it comes down to is I'm too independent for my own good. Most people need companionship while I do not.  Most people are in relationships, unhealthy or otherwise, because they cant stand to be alone and I am not one of those people.  I would rather be alone.  I spent 5 years in a relationship where all we did was verbally abuse each other and inevitably he cheated on me with half the city. I fear relationships.  I fear all that comes along with it. I fear dependency on another human being in any way, shape, or form. At least I can recognize my shortcomings right?  Sure. It doesn't really make it that much better, more or less just rubs it into the wound a little further. 
So my point in all this is, I might just need to reevaluate my theories on life. My outlook on relationships. Unless I truly do want to be alone for the next 60 years. That is an awfully long time.