Inevitably Single

I have been not only having actual discussions but dreams lately about parents and whether kids are ruined because of the lack of them.

My daughter, for prime example, has no father to speak of. Her father never met her til she was 6 months old and never again until she was 6 years.  He hasn't called since 2009 so maybe he'll show up again when she is 16? Who knows.  But my arguments have consisted of people saying that they stay together to have their family. "But what would the kids do without theitr daddy?"  I think its a bad joke.  Really? They'd get on with life, thats what they would do.  They would see that life isn't perfect and they would get over it.   I know people who have fathers and would be better off in life without them.  I get that people want the perfect picture, but this is real life and it is hard. It is far from perfect. 

For example I have a friend who stays with her douche bag boyfriend because she has two kids. She says she does it for them and it doesnt matter what she wants.  I said "If your daughter was in a terrible abusive relationship would you be okay with it?" She replied with an "of course not." So she continues the cycle with showing her daughter that its okay to be in an abusive relationship and shows her son it is okay to abuse women. When does it end?

My daughter has talks of having a father. She wishes she could have one.  When she was 8 months old I started dating a guy and we were together from then until just after she turned 5. He was all she new from daddy.  For three of those five years he cheated on me.  He kept a whole other life from me because of his selfishness. When the time finally came where I learned of the cheating and left him, he moved one of his new girls in within two days. He said he still wanted to see Alanna, and I said he could, but not his new woman. He never called again nor never saw my daughter after that conversation.  Alanna doesnt understand why, of course, but for a 5 year old to say "Mommy, I don't want these memories in my head," thats a little deep... See she would have been better off without one from the start. Like I said all along.

I don't know what the point of this rant it is. Maybe to show myself that I am single with good reason. That I dont just want to be with someone who will ineviatably hurt my daughter or myself.  I am good where I am. If that means I am alone til I die, then so be it.