Since mid 1990 I have been keeping a journal on paper, and I can remember my first entry to be something in reference to the Gulf War. I was about 8 years old and writing has never left me. Lately I've been keeping a blog on paper since May that no one but myself will ever see so I decided that it has to be something I can not only get support on, but maybe just get out there to help someone else.
I am a 28 year old single mother. I have a 9 year old daughter, Alanna, two cats Dylan & Lucy, and a dog, Beatrice. I work retail at Lowe's and I spend my free time reading, writing, and playing adult coed volleyball & softball. I don't go out much, I don't party, I don't drink though I do occassionally smoke. I prefer the life of a hermit crab to the life that other people my age lead. I don't date because I consider it a waste of time and I especially don't like when people say "Oh you will meet him someday." or "When the time comes you will know..." Bite m!. I tend to believe that people settle for things that aren't great because they cannot stand to be alone, and since I can stand to be alone, I will be. Indefinitely. You cannot find "the one" if you remain keeping your eyes closed.
Earlier this year I applied for a home improvement loan on the home I bought back in 2009. It's a deferred loan that I never have to pay back unless I sell the home, which I have no intention of doing. I've literally been documenting every step because this place has been a disaster since day one. This nightmare of a contractor has broken pipes, almost set the house on fire (which was caught just in the nick of time), incorrectly tarped off my roof on a rainy night resuting in it raining inside my house, among about 25 other stupid, idiotic things that have sent my blood pressure sky high. So I am just going to begin to document it on here to get my words straight and my thoughts aligned... and so I don't have to continue to cry myself to sleep on a regular basis because my house is an absolute terror.
So if you want to follow this which you probably will not, then you will understand my current pain. I hate my contractor -whom I cannot fire and who I cannot even complain to anyone about. I've called the program 345 times and do you think they give a care what I have to say? Not as long as it falls within the terms of the contract. My mother rides me every day on my smoking habit and my reasoning is the work on the house. I do not want to smoke. Its nasty, its smelly, it tastes horrible, but it makes me feel normal when my house is in shambles.
I will continue on later. I need to rest... my brain hurts...
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