Once Upon A Time...

Watching ABC's Once Upon A Time really makes me think.  Especially when Ginnifer Goodwin's writers give her lines to say that make a lot of sense...

"If guess if true love was easy, we'd all have it."

No words spoke more true.  I'm not exactly sure why love is on the brain as much as it has been as of late, but I do know that it is weighing heavy.  It's been in everything I say, do, & see... and dammit! I am afraid of love. I do not want it staring me in the face all the time.  I do a lot in my every day life to avoid all things love related - even as far as saying that I do not believe in it- but here it is, throwing itself all over my life. 

I suppose if my daughter were in my same predicament I would not want her to fear love. I would want her to embrace it, but I would want her to see clearly which I am certain most people do not. 

I can remember having a conversation with my friend Brandon about 2 years ago now. He had just broken up with one of his girlfriends and was pretty distraught.  I asked him how when he kept loving so strong and losing so great how he could still have such passion in his life for love.  How could he still wake up every day and want to love, because I was the exact opposite. My passion was exhausted and I spent more time hating love then I ever spent doing anything else.  Perhaps that is my biggest problem. Perhaps that is why love has never found me.  Because as much as I fear it, it fears my hatred for it.